LOVE your body!!

Today I went to yoga (a more and more recent pattern for me).  My teacher this morning began our class by talking about "Astaya."  This is one of the limbs of yoga, one of it's pillars of meditation, and it means: Non Stealing.  When you are in a state of Astaya, you are not stealing from others, and you are not stealing from yourself.  When you sit and compare yourself to others, when you envy and desire to have. . . his hair, her legs, his butt, her smarts. . . .you are stealing from yourself the knowledge that you are beautiful and whole.  It is ok to admire someone for what and who they are, but the minute you start to envy that, you shortchange yourself, and steal that other person's aura too.  Our yoga teacher talked about when you are in Astaya, and only taking what you need for yourself to be full and happy (not taking anyone else's inventory of their happiness, their motivations, their looks. . . . .only taking the water and air and food that you need to sustain your healthy self), we also move into gratitude.  We become grateful for ourselves and the things we do have.  In our yoga practice today, she reminded us to only move how our body needed. "Don't stare at your neighbor and become envious of their pretzel twisty move or their tight ass.  Listen to your body.  Take and do only what you need, don't try to steal the ability of others - it will only hurt you."

My teacher, Julia, told us a story about her 85 year old mother. She was hospitalized yesterday, and in the hospital room was stripped naked and laying in front of 3 doctors.  Julia said she stood there, embarrassed for her mothers sagging breasts and wrinkled stomach.  Embarrassed that so many people were looking at her imperfect, old body.  But then she looked at her mother's face, and realized she was completely comfortable in her own skin.  She smiled at everyone, and was not worried about what everyone was thinking.  Julia realized her mother was in a state of Astaya, grateful and happy in her own skin.  Julia ended class saying, "I hope I don't wait until I'm 85 to be comfortable in my own skin."

I also hope it doesn't take me that long. I have battled many years hating my body, looking in the mirror with disgust and mean comments.  Now, I think back to those things I told myself and I wonder how I ever could have treated myself so cruelly.  I never would say those things to anyone else, so why did I say them to myself?  I have done a lot of hard work this last year - work on growing into myself and loving myself.  Today I can say that I do accept my body.  Hell, today, I LOVE my body.  And when days aren't as meditative and peaceful as this one, I will fight away the terrible lies my mind allows to creep in, and I will remember Julia's Grandma.  And my Grandma.  And I will remember that life is to short to wait until I am 85 to be free in my own skin.

To everyone out there, men and women, who have struggled with your body. . .listen to this song.  It's written for girls, but I think men need this too.  I hope you can love your body today (and tomorrow infinity!) like your mother loved your baby feet.

To Sir, With Love

This weekend, my friend took me to an event at her school.  She works for 2 private schools, and is in charge of getting the kids to volunteer throughout the community. I have always said that when I teach, I want it to be with at-risk kids, in poor neighborhoods - work with the kids who really need to have passionate, inspired teachers.  Help the kids that really need to find motivation. You know, "Stand and Deliver" and "To Sir, With Love" . . . those kind of teachers.  But, in the past few years, through conversations and experience - I now understand the equally important necessity of working with wealthy kids.  These kids with money are going to be the next leaders of the world.  They will have the resources and connections to make change, and they need teachers to inspire and guide them.  A friend I met yesterday said, "I take it on as my duty to ensure my students don't become the next Dick Cheney's." And, in the end, every child (wealthy or not) deserves passionate and inspired teachers.  

My friend works in a private school - very different from her roots of teaching in a rough and tumble urban school - and she is having an important impact in this community. 

To the many important teachers in my life who have inspired me . . . .

To my Dad who taught me about diversity and being non-judgemental.  And to my Dad whose patience and dedication I continually am in awe of and aim to have.  
To my Papa, whose stories about fighting for what's right inspire me to be an activist
To my Aunt Marianne, whose enthusiasm and passion make me excited for getting my future job
To Mrs. McIntyre, who read me Louis Sachar and made me fall in love with literacy.
To Kristen French, who inspires me to change the world.
To Marsha Riddle-Buly, who opened the door for me, and challenges me to keep learning. 
To Courtnie, who taught me how to be silly and not take myself to seriously. 

And to all the other teachers - I can't begin to name you all. Wealthy or at-risk, every child deserves to be inspired and encouraged by teachers like I have had. 

If you have a few minutes, watch this video about another inspiring teacher.
Click Here!

Durga

My sister is an amazing artist. Her and her fiancé Russell have recently found peace and inspiration with Hindu Gods, and their myriad meanings and representations. Recently, Elizabeth has decided to undertake the task of drawing each of them. She is so talented! And her recent drawing of Durga holds my favorite meaning. Durga protects mankind from jealousy, hatred, selfishness, anger, prejudice and Ego. Wow! What an important God! And what a good way to start off the week. Happy Sunday and Cinco de Mayo. May your week be free from jealousy, hatred, selfishness, anger, prejudice and Ego.

I'm Still Gonna Love

Last night, my friend Laura took me to a small concert in a little church coffee house.  The performers Meg Hutchinson and Mark Erelli filled my heart with folk music.  I loved both of them, and especially loved some of the messages their songs were sharing.

This was one of my favorites from the night - called "The Only Way."  

This song really speaks to how I can feel sometimes, overwhelmed by the sadness, pain and hatred happening in the world.  But after I feel that sorrow, "I'm still gonna love, I'm gonna believe, I'm still gonna dream, but I"m gonna roll up my sleeves. . ."  And do what I can.

I can't figure out how to upload the video, so click here!

Mmmm, Sandwiches

This week in San Antonio, I earned my first ever tips! My friend Cris works for Blue Star Brewing Company, and they own a kiosk in downtown Main Plaza. Cris was made the manager there, and decided to open a sandwich shop. This was his first week, and I helped him get it off the ground. After the grunt work of scrubbing for a health inspection, it was really fun. We tried new concoctions, passed out samples, listened to awesome live music and made sandwiches (and ate them) like crazy! Cris has always wanted to run a food truck, and this is a good opportunity for him to test the waters. With a Subway directly across from the kiosk, Cris has got some competition. But all his ingredients are local and homemade, and he sells beer too. With that and his charisma ( he would chase down Subway customers and ask them to do a taste test), I think he'll rock it. Now I'm on a greyhound headed north to Dallas with my 10 dollars of hard earned tips in my pocket (seriously people. Tip better! Food prep is hard work!)

Did you know that Ham is the most popular sandwich? The world's longest sandwich was over 2,000 feet long. Americans eat over 300 million sandwiches every day. What's your favorite? Mine is a Club, overflowing with goodness to the point that it is nearly impossible to bite. Mmmm. . .

Una marcha por la gente

Yesterday, I was part of a march in San Antonio.  On May 1st, there is a national movement to march for immigrant rights - a day to bring awareness to the struggle and the hope.  The march in San Antonio was also for domestic workers, to shed light on unfair treatment and wages.  I joined the march by myself, and was surprised at the lack of people standing in solidarity with the marchers - as we gathered in the park with our signs, there were only 4 white people.  This was my first ever march, and I was excited to be participating, but I was also a little nervous.  I was accutely aware of my whiteness, and as we started marching and chanting, I remembered something empowering my old proferssor and friend Kristen French told me.  A few years ago, when I was working at a bilingual school, I was teaching Spanish speaking parents how to advocate for themselves in the school system, and how to support their kids coming home with English homework.  After a few weeks, I went to Kristen and told her how I was feeling off kilter.  I felt out of place - as a white person,with no kids of my own, teaching these Latino parents about advocating for their kids.  Kristen told me "You're a sister in the struggle."  She talked to me about not being in the struggle myself, but being a person who can open the door, and walk through it with whomever is on the other side.

Yesterday, when I felt out of place for a minute, I remembered that I may not be personally experiencing the struggle that we were marching for, but I am a sister in it.
Half way through the march, I took up step with a really neat activist named Javier.  Together, we held a banner that read "Demandamos Justicia - We Demand Justice."  As we marched, he quoted Martin Luther King.  "Whatever effects 1 directly, effects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be.  This is the interrelated structure of reality."  So true!  What effects one, effects us all. And so, in the end- it is my struggle (and yours!) too.  As we marched, people came to the sidewalks and cheered, clapped and joined us.  By the end of the march, I couldn't even count how many white people had joined.  So many people marching in solidarity - "Ain't no power like the power of the people, cause the power of the people won't stop."

Yoga? Yes please.

I love Yoga!  I have always known this, but rarely make the time in my life to go and do it.  Years ago, I would get more stressed out going to yoga, than I was at first.  My inflexible limbs were always shaking, I was beat red and grunting trying to get into, and hold, the positions.  But mostly, I was self-conscious of people noticing how terrible I was at it.  Once I was able to let go of that, and go with the intention of finding a peaceful space in my hectic life (or more accurately, my hectic mind) - I loved it!  Yoga always helps mys sore muscles relax.  It really feels like it's lengthening my stressed out back.  And it does something to nourish my soul and quiet my endless mind-banter.

Two nights ago, I went and did yoga on a bridge in the East side of San Antonio.  It was the coolest thing ever!!!  The view was so beautiful.  And as we were walking up on the bridge, an eery wind started, and a very ominous dark cloud was looming.  We started the Yoga class, and the wind went crazy.  It was pretty amazing to be doing this peaceful meditation, while wind was trying to knock us over (and blowing our shoes away).  And then the lightening started!  We held out as long as we could because it was so cool, but once the lightening started striking in all directions around us, our teacher nervously said, "Ok!  Class is over!"

Here are some pictures from that yoga experience, and then here's a video that my friend Cris shared with me.  Super inspiring.  If you haven't seen it.. . enjoy.  If you have, watch again, enjoy, then do some yoga!

Watch!