Is Anybody Going to San Antone?

It was really nostalgic coming into my recent stomping grounds of San Antonio yesterday. What have I have missed about Texas since moving away? The food. The color. The friendly people. Live music everywhere! And dancing. And lucky me, I have been satiated with the full experience - all in 1 day! Breakfast tacos, a giant hamburger, and a falafel burrito from my favorite vegetarian restaurant filled my tummy. I sometimes think the way to my heart is through my stomach.. . Fiesta was this week in San Antonio, and the streets are filled with color. I love it! In 1 day, I ran into 4 sets of live music, and went dancing to Conjunto music at a fiesta party at Mission San Jose. Last year, Conjunto was a big part of my life - and I have come to love accordion music. Last night I saw Conjunto legends Flaco Jimmenez and Los Super 7. There is also something about the sky here in Texas- it seems so much more beautiful and expansive here than any where else I've been (might be that there is nothing on the horizon to obstruct the view). Don't worry mom - I'm not moving back here. I just am rekindling my love for this Lone Star state. I've been getting my fill of Vitamin D and good people, and I'm fixin' to enjoy my stay here.

Don Quixote!

Is anybody going to San Antone?

Texas or Bust

I left the beautiful mountains of Colorado and headed out on my road trip to Texas. Rick was the bet road trip buddy I could have asked for. He has been through a lot, but keeps on chugging with a smile on his face and a great sense of humor. He has such a positive outlook, and is an animal lover extraordinaire! He and I were on the road for 14 hours - with his dogs Daisy, Lola and Blue. When we hit the dusty cotton fields of Lubbock, TX, I realized how much I missed this hot old friend. Rick and his wife Patricia put me up for the night, and bought me my favorite Texas breakfast in the morning - breakfast tacos! Thanks for taking me in, and delivering me safely to the next leg of my journey. Vaya con Dios!

Swim Upstream

Dear Jamie,

You are a beautiful soul, and I am honored to be your friend. Thanks for all the delicious food - I'm sad to be leaving your kitchen! Thanks for allowing my tornado to swirl through your house, and sorry about all the socks I left behind. Thank you for sharing your family with me - your boys are strong and kind, and it shows in their faces how much they adore you (especially when they call you mommy :) You are a wonderful mother, and your compassion abounds. You are a pillar of strength for everyone who comes under your wings. You MATTER so much to so many people. And your gumption and grit inspire me to 'just do it!' Keep swimming up that stream, and know that you spread your peace and joy for all the fish following you.

Love you bunches,
Courtney

"It is the hearts capacity to rise one more time after falling down, no matter how bruised, that verifies that such a drive lives in us too. Like salmon, our way depends not just on facing things head on, but in moving our whole being through." -Mark Nepo

Heart Chakra

After yoga on Sunday, Jamie and I went to a painting class, where we painted our Heart Chakra and the energy we felt in yoga.

I love yoga, and know that it always makes my body and soul feel better, but I haven't gone as much as I need to, and I know little about the chakras. I hope I can do it justice . . .

In the heart chakra, we open to and connect with harmony and peace.  The health of our heart, and this energy inside us, depends on the quality and power of love in our lives.

"In Sanscrit, the heart chakra is called Anahata, which means "unstruck" or "unhurt."  Its name implies that deep beneath our personal stories of brokenness and the pain in our heart, wholeness, boundless love, and a wellspring of compassion reside."

This chakra, our heart, is the center of our being, and one that needs attention and balance.  Love is a powerful healer!

It was pretty fabulous to be in a room with 7 women, all channeling our love energy.  Here is me and Jamie with our heart chakras!

Another important part of this heart chakra is forgiveness and self-love. Self-forgiveness and self-love is an important (and ongoing) process for me.  The hands in the center of my heart represent the intention of peace   I hold each day within myself.  And my sunflower is that peace and love energy bursting out into the world.  

If you meditated on your heart right now, what would you find there?

Live Your Passion

While on my way home after my Denver exploration, I drove past a beautifully painted street - and my curiosity turned the car around.  I parked, and walked  into the first shop with an open sign - an art gallery.  There was a beautiful gallery upstairs, but the coolest part was the open studio policy the space holds.  All the artists have open spaces you can walk through and explore.

While I was busy taking this awesome picture in someone's space. . ..

Fate was at work and artist Lesa Webb came in.  We chatted for a second, and I asked if I could see her studio.  She has one of the furthest rooms down in the basement, and as all good artists spaces are - hers was covered with color, and paint, and inspiration!

I absolutely fell in love with her art, and the more we talked, I fell in love with her.

She is working on art for her next show called "One of Many" Visual Voices of Color in the True Essence of the West.  Her artwork is so beautiful, and so culturally in-tune.  For each show (every year or so) she focuses on one culture or a cross-cultural theme, and absorbs each style very eloquently.  Recently she did an Asian themed show, and "Masks around the world."  Now she is working on a Western theme, and she is working on a painting of African-American cowboys in the first black rodeo.  Her next project is "Children of the World."  She said "Children are so beautiful, they should be immortalized on canvas.  That's what I intend to do."

But even cooler than Lesa's fabulous artwork. . . is her story.  "When I was 5 or 6, I told my parents I was going to be an artist.  They said, 'Be a Doctor!'  But I didn't want to be a doctor.  I ended up a corporate yuppie for 20 years or so.  Then I had a heart attack and stroke, and after that, I said 'I'm gonna paint.'  And I did!  I'm a poor artist but I'm doing what I love."  Even as she told me about people who scoff and tell her to get a real job, she smiled big and said, "But, you have to follow your dream and live your passion."  Hell yes!  Rock on sister.  You inspire me!

And if you happen to be in Denver, Sept. 7, you should check out her show.  Or. . . .stop by and say hi at Artists on Santa Fe.     #LesaWebb

Denver Love

Today, after work at the shelter, I headed to downtown Denver to explore - and I found so much inspiration!

So start painting!!

Best name for a street ever!  Be the one _____________ (you fill in your blank!)
Be the one that makes you proud.

Beautiful Native monuments.  Respect all nations!

Yes!  Exercise your mind with the truth!

A rad chalkboard in Civic Park.   

Before I die. . . . . .I want to live!

"I had always imagined paradise as a kind of library."  - Jorge Luis Borges. 

Me too Jorge!

Snow and Gratitude

This week, I started volunteering for a place called the Jeffco Action Center in Lakewood, CO.  This is a pretty amazing non-profit that prides itself on helping it's clients to self sufficiency.  They run a huge clothing and food bank, they help pay people's utility bills, and have a homeless shelter.  Every client that comes through receives counseling and support to become self-sufficient.

Yesterday, I worked in the clothing bank, sorting through hundreds of thousands of donations that came in.  As me and my volunteer sorter buddies were making our way through the mounds, it began to snow outside.  Clients came in and began finding clothes they needed for themselves and their families, and I wondered if they had enough warm coats and blankets to keep them through the oncoming blizzard.

By noon today, we had 8 inches of snow and counting.  While I romped around and enjoyed playing in the snow, I was reminded of people in town that might not have a bed to stay in.  When the shelter is full, the rest of the people needing beds would be cold on the street.

So, while I enjoyed the snow today, I also spent some time in gratitude.

Today, I am thankful for - a warm bed to sleep in, sturdy clothes to keep me dry and safe in the cold, hot food to eat, and good friends to welcome me into their homes.  And I am thankful that when I see snow, it's an opportunity to play, and not a threat to my safety.

What are you thankful for today?

Earth Day Take 2

While Denver has decided to have a blizzard, I'm bundled up inside listening to music.  The King of Pop came on, and his words are another good reminder for today.

Be good to our earth, because we all share it!

This land was made for you and me

Happy EARTH DAY! Show some love for this thing we all share.

                                            

And because I love Peter, Paul and Mary (and this land). . . .

Shine Your Light

Today, my friend Jamie and I spent a peaceful afternoon as Yogis, learning about our heart chakra.  At the beginning of class, our teacher, Shanti, read us a beautiful letter from an Indian Elder.  Here it is . .  an invitation to know YOU.

THE INVITATION
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. 

It doesn’t interest me how old you are, I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon, I want to know if you have been touched to the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty everyday and if you can source your life from God’s presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes”.

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have, I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here, I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied; I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

- Indian Elder

What sustains you?  What do you ache for and dare to dream of?

Thank you Shanti, for shining your light, and sharing your beautiful Shanti Home with us today.  "Peace in your heart, peace in your words, peace in your thoughts."

Hope For Peace

My first day out and about in Denver, and at lunch, I ran into my old rowing buddy from my Freshman year of college!  She lives in Washington, and is here visiting a friend. Haven't seen her in 9 years, and we picked the same restaurant to eat at. It's a small world Ann Parker!!

And after lunch, I met a beautiful woman named Chlo.  Every week she stands in silent vigil, hoping for peace.

Chlo is part of a group called "Women in Black."  The group started in 1988 in Israel.  A group of Jewish and Arab women stood silently in public places during the Palestinian Intifada.  This now worldwide network of women are committed to peace and are actively opposed to injustice, war, militarism and other forms of violence.

"We are silent because mere words cannot express the tragedy that wars and hatred bring.  Our vigil is a way of keeping the awareness of ongoing violence in the forefront of people's minds and holding a space for the possibility of peace."

Thank you Chlo for holding that peaceful space, and standing in solidarity.  I hope for peace too!

On the Road

Eight years ago, I began working with a woman named "Melanie" - a pretty amazing woman who happened to have Autism and Down Syndrome.  Melanie taught me so much over the years - about patience, pain, the power of communication, friendship. . .. but the most powerful thing Melanie ever taught me (and it's a lesson I'm only just understanding fully 8 years later) was a lesson in looking at life through a lens of love. 

Two years after working with Melanie, she began to self-abuse - a sign that she was experiencing some sort of pain she was unable to communicate with us.  Doctors, therapists, behavior specialists and her mom were unable to define the source of her anguish, and so day after day, Melanie continued to hurt herself.  Watching her harm her body, seeing her sadness at not being able to communicate with us, and not being able to do anything about it was very emotionally draining. I wanted answers!  "How can I fix this? Why can't I help her?  Why is there so much pain!"

Melanie's mother - a deeply spiritual woman - recognized the staff's struggles and frustration.  She called a meeting, and invited a therapist to come and work with us.  I was expecting - DEMANDING - answers!   

Instead the woman pulled out a pair of glasses with heart stickers covering the lenses.  She said to us, "When Melanie self abuses, there is nothing you can do about it.  When this happens you feel sad, angry, frustrated, out of control and unable to help.  Melanie can feel your emotions.  When she is in this turmoil, she doesn't need you to be anxious.  She needs to know that you love her.  That you are calm, and you are there for her."  

She passed around these heart glasses and told us that when Melanie is in pain, that we should put on these glasses.  They would be a reminder to see Melanie with our love, and Melanie in turn would see the love coming out of our eyes, and know that we are there for her. 

Six years ago, those glasses infuriated me.  When Melanie is gouging her face, a pair of glasses is not going to patch up her scars.  This was not the tangeable answer I wanted!  I tried those glasses on in the meeting, had a good laugh with my co-workers about the ridiculous fix that was given to our problems, and we stored the glasses in a drawer. 

.  . . . .

My good friend Kelly once told me that my biggest strength and greatest fault are the exact same - that I care deeply about everyone. The fault bit comes in when I take it upon my shoulders as my duty to "save" everyone.  I easily get buried underneath the sadness I see happening in the world - I feel a strong pull to help everyone, but get instantly overwhelmed because I know I can't. It can be so easy to focus on the sadness and sorrow in the world - especially if you ever watch the news.   

I recently watched an amazing documentary called "I Am."  In this, Tom Shadyac tells us that the simple way we greet someone with love can have a powerful ripple effect that can change the way they interact with others, and so on exponentially.  When we interact with love, we effect people's ability to effect change in the world. 

And so, I have come back to those silly heart glasses I once shoved in a drawer.  Those glasses are such a beautiful philosophy for life! Yes, there is pain and anger in the world. And yes, there are causes we need to fight for to make change. But on your journey - fighting for these causes, discovering who you are, navigating your place in life - you can make the choice to approach life, and the people you meet . . .. with love.    

"When you've opened to . . . .love, you are helping people you don't know and have never seen."  - Rumi.   The ripple effect is exciting, isn't it? 

And so. .. .here I am.  Headed out on a 4 month adventure with a backpack and some heart glasses. My intention is to See More Love in the world, focus on the joy, find inspiration.  I'm not entirely sure where I'm headed, who I will meet, or what I'm going to do.  But, like the Beattles tell me, all I need is love.